Wait A Minute!!! I’m SICK????

I guess when dealing with any 13 year-old there are always going to be those moments that leave you scratching your head. I have had numerous conversations with Miles about the medication that he has to take and why it is so important and how if he starts to feel differently while taking the meds that he needs to communicate with us. In the past couple of years I know I have compared him needing to take medicine to someone who might have high blood pressure or other illnesses a minimum of a hundred times or so. 

The other night we are talking on the phone and he asks what I have planned for the rest of the evening. I tell him I am going to a support group to talk to other parents that have kids or loved ones that…then he interrupts ” are like me???”.  I go on to tell him , ” Well, they aren’t exactly like you. Their kids are all older, in their 20’s but they are all sick in one way or another.” He then blurts out, “Hey!!!!! Wait a minute!!!! I”M SICK?????” Oh man, all I could think of was ” Well damn!! I never meant to open a can of worms here!!”

I kind of laughed about it to myself later but it’s really sad. I am pretty sure that he feels he is in residential treatment because he is a bad kid, not a kid that has an illness that makes him do things that put himself and others in danger. Ugh!!!

Mental Health Care Deficit

This past month has been absolutely a nightmare waiting to find out if the insurance company is going to continue to cover the treatment that Miles needs at the Residential Treatment Center. They waited until the very last minute to agree to cover his treatment until November. At that time I assume that his progress, if any, will be re-evaluated and we will go through the waiting game all over again if it appears he needs continued treatment in a residential type setting. 

I lost track of how many people I contacted within the mental health community here in Nevada trying to find out what we would be able to do for Miles if he were to be discharged the beginning of August like we were initially told if the appeal was not granted by his insurance. It was absolutely terrifying! He is still a danger to himself and others at this point. I was actually told by one mental health professional that in this situation, if he were to be released, the best option would be to refuse to pick him up from the treatment center!! We would be charged with abandonment but the state would be forced to get him continued treatment!!! I can hardly believe we may have to literally abandon our son one day in order to get him the help he needs!!!! Unfortunately this may be our reality at some point. 

This is not just a tragedy for our family. This is a national tragedy that there is such a deficit in mental health care.

An Awesome Day With Dad

A few weeks ago Miles got to have a day pass from the treatment center. His dad was performing at the Utah Jazz Festival and he was able to spend the day with his dad and then during his dads performance a staff member from the treatment center came and sat with Miles. Over all it was a wonderful day for him and his dad. They walked all around downtown Salt Lake City and went to a mall and hung out at the hotel. Just like old times. Miles has grown up around the music industry.

There were a couple of instances that Miles had a difficult time. He seems to have an unusual fear of things like statues and murals. While he and his dad were out walking he nearly had a panic attack over a mural on the side of a building. His dad handled it pretty well. They talked a bit about his fears and got nowhere with that so his dad just found an alternate route for them to take to get back to the hotel. Later Miles shared with me that he has a hard time recognizing if murals and statues are real or not.

The guys from the band have known Miles since he was 2 years old. They were all happy to see him and  he seemed to enjoy seeing all of them. It was the first time that his dad discussed Miles struggles with mental illness with any of the band members. Some of them had questions after the festival not understanding why he was in Utah since he hadn’t traveled with his dad and wondering where he went after the performance. I was glad that he was finally able to share some of the struggles that we have gone through with Miles. It is not something that we share with a lot of people. We have had some awkward experiences with friends and family that obviously don’t understand and from our observation don’t want to understand.

We are still happy that Miles had an awesome day with his dad doing things that used to be a frequent part of his life. It is absolutely heart breaking that those days are so few and far between right now.