My phone rang this morning and when I looked at it and saw it was from the treatment center, my heart stopped. I can always tell something is wrong when I get a call from the center at an odd time.
It was the nurse. I swear I was literally holding my breath. He was calling to inform me that Miles attempted to end his life today. Apparently, another resident cheeked his meds and gave them to Miles and he took them along with his own meds. They are monitoring him and he is on 24/7 watch right now. At one point his blood pressure was 92/55.
Later I got a call from his therapist. I still don’t have any answers to what triggered the incident. This is not the first time this has happened. The last time this happened he had traded another resident cup-o-noodles for his meds in order to try to kill himself!!!
I went from not breathing to a huge sigh of relief , then to anger , and finally now deeply sad but grateful that his attempt failed.
I know this is not the life Miles wants for himself right now, and it’s not the one I want for him. I just can’t imagine life without him though.
Losing Miles 
So sorry to read this. It’s hell for you as well as him.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. It wasn’t the first time and I have to be prepared that it probably won’t be the last. I will pray that he will never succeed.