Last week I made the drive to Salt Lake City from Las Vegas to visit Miles. I planned to make the trip alone since his dad , a musician, is on tour all month. At the last-minute, I decided to bring my 4-year-old granddaughter along with me. They love and miss each other and the last time they saw each other was February. Sounds simple I know but this 4-year-old happens to have ADHD. That added a whole new element to this trip to Utah!!! I packed the car with plenty of items to keep her occupied and we stopped often for restroom breaks and for her to run off steam!
When we arrived to the treatment center we met with the therapist and discussed the plans for our day passes. We were able to pick him up each morning and had to drop him back off at the center at 8:00 pm. Since we arrived a bit late in the day we checked into the hotel room and then went out for dinner. Miles enjoys going to restaurants where we can sit down and order from a menu and have dinner served. Keep in mind, a lot of planning comes into play with this scenario because the dining area can’t be too crowded, or noisy or a lot of odd decor. We made what I thought was a good choice and then I was quickly reminded that Ms. ADHD was present and that was going to impact the whole experience. She was so excited to see her “uncle/brother” as she refers to him that I don’t know how either of them ate with her jumping in the booth next to him and hugging and kissing him. I chose to take most of my dinner back to the hotel with me. I could tell that al the excitement was beginning to cause Miles some anxiety, not to mention the fact that I could tell that we were beginning to disturb other diners. I was really getting the “stink eye” from a couple of tables and I couldn’t resist as we were leaving (thank goodness the kids were walking ahead of me) telling them what I thought of them. They appeared to be in their late 60s or so and I informed them that “they really shouldn’t be so judgmental about a situation they had no knowledge of and that they should enjoy their dinner because it was clear that their days of eating out were numbered because it wouldn’t be long that diapers and bibs on people their age would probably not be appealing to other diners.” I know, I was exhausted and just completely lost my filters for a moment but I said it and I really don’t feel so bad about it. By the way, the rest of our meals were fast food and take out!!
The rest of the visit went pretty well. We went to an aquarium that started off and ended pretty rocky. As you enter the aquarium there is a HUGE shark suspended from the ceiling. Miles has a horrible phobia of large statues and such. Between him having an anxiety attack and Ms. ADHD I wondered what the hell I could have been thinking taking them there! We all survived.
We left the aquarium and went to an indoor trampoline gym. Immediately Ms. ADHD took off bouncing like crazy. Miles came and sat next to me with his head ducked and a sad look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he felt like everyone was staring at him. I assume that was the schizophrenia talking. I assured him that was not the case at all and we sat together for a few minutes. Ms. ADHD noticed him sitting with me and came running over and took his hand and said “come on uncle! come jump with me!!” He got up right away and followed her and for the first time during the whole trip I was super happy she was there with us! Unfortunately she led him right into the dodgeball pit!!! Ugh!! It took just a few minutes for me to realize that Miles didn’t get the concept and was getting annoyed about getting pounded by the balls. I called him over and explained the game to him, I guess he had never played dodgeball before. He recovered pretty quickly and went back and seemed to have a lot of fun although left the dodgeball pit and opted just to jump. He was off by himself and I was shocked as Ms. ADHD ran up to a kid that appeared to be the same age as Miles and tapped him on the arm and said “hey, come jump with my uncle/brother, he’s your size!” He actually followed her over and they all played together for a while.
While we were on our last day pass Miles asked me to dye a red mohawk on his hair. That was fun, kind of!!! I told my husband we were going to do it and he said “are you crazy??” My response was “No, he’s 13 and that’s a normal 13-year-old thing to do!” So we went to the beauty supply store and bought what we needed and headed to the hotel. As I am preparing everything, Ms. ADHD tells him his hair is gonna fall out!!! Miles looks at me with this big questionable expression. I assured him his hair would NOT fall out and we proceeded. Never having dye in his hair before he started to get a little panicked when he felt the dye getting warm on his scalp. I assured him it was fine. Ms. ADHD blurts out “ya, that’s your hair burning off!!!” At that point I am back to wondering if it was a good idea to bring her along after all!!! When we were all done he was happy. It made me feel good to let him have that experience.
Saying goodbye was really hard like it always is. I don’t even know how many miles I drove with tears running down my face. I just had to keep reminding myself that we were doing the best that we could do to keep everyone safe at the moment. I also prayed that something would happen and things would get better for Miles.
Losing Miles 