There must not be a more helpless feeling in the world than to have a sick child that you can’t help. The fear of the insurance company denying treatment dangles over our heads putting and enormous emotional burden on us. As it stands now, Miles is approved until January.
This past week was full of drama. Miles decided to make up a huge lie to tell staff that some mexican guy with tattoos and his girlfriend were walking along the trail behind the treatment center where the boys have a recreation area and came to the fence and flashed a gun at him and told him if the kids didn’t quit yelling at them when they were on the trail that they were going to get shot! He even gave a description of the guy to his therapist and told her that he looked like his sisters ex-boyfriend. The therapist called me to get a description of the ex-boyfriend and had to go through all kinds of surveillance tape to try to get to the bottom of things. When she told me Miles described this 5ft 8in mexican guy with tattoos that looked like my daughters ex-boyfriend I wanted to die. The only similarity was the tattoos!! My daughters ex-boyfriend is black, 6ft 4in tall and about 250 pounds!!!! Besides all of that, there is a metal guard about 5ft high along the fence and there is no way on earth he could have seen anything but the top of someones head. He also told his therapist that a unit manager talked to the guy too!! At the end of the day, deciding that he had lied about the whole thing, they took Miles into his therapists office to first talk to him and just see how far he would take this lie. They told him that the unit manager would have to be fired for talking to the guy and Miles stuck to his story. He was wiling to let this guy lose his job. When they let him know that they talked to me and they knew he was lying about this imaginary person and that they had looked at the tapes and never saw anything he finally admitted that he thought if he told that story and I thought he was in an unsafe place that I would come get him. Then he flipped out on them when they told him there would be consequences for his lie and had to be put in a hold. He kicked the therapist and made a mess of her office then as they took him back to an isolation unit to let him calm down he threatened that he was going to kill his therapist.
I got a call the next evening from the nurse telling me that he had been put in another hold because of aggression and when he was told if he couldn’t calm down they would have to give him a shot he told them to go ahead, so they did.
It really frustrates me because sometimes I think he acts aggressive in order to get a shot. The nurse confirmed to me that recently when he has gotten aggressive and required a shot that it was totally different that when he first got to the treatment center and was not on proper medication and required sedation.
I feel like besides all of his other problems, Miles is showing a tendency to have a drug abuse issue.
I don’t anticipate things getting much better with the holidays approaching and his birthday is in December. For the past 2 years I have been able to visit him on his birthday but this year I won’t be able to make it because of his dads holiday tour schedule and my responsibilities with our granddaughter.
I seriously worry that he is giving up on himself and I have no idea what to do. I don’t even know if there is anything I can do. At some point, I feel like something within him has to kick in and decide that this is not the life he wants for himself.
Losing Miles 