Just lost

Miles was finally accepted into a new placement. He has been there since June 2015. At first things seemed to go smoothly. We kept waiting for his therapist to gain his trust and for our family sessions to begin addressing his issues. 

I could never get the education department to follow through with getting his IEP updated. It still hasn’t happened. I gave up on that and tried to focus on some more priority issues first. 

Within the first weeks after he arrived, the psychiatrist contacted me regarding his mediations and wanted to make some major changes. Major changes have never happened. My latest phone call with him I realize he doesn’t plan to make major changes, even with his meds for psychosis which needs to be done. He continues to struggle with voices, hallucinations, and paranoia. 

His insurance company has been pressing to move him to  step-down facility, however he has not been accepted by any because they don’t feel they can provide the level of care that he needs. 

His personal items that we provide on  a regular basis are constantly being stolen. The RTC claims no responsibility in preventing this and shows no interest in replacing any of his items. 

He has been placed in stabilization unit several times but nothing like in previous RTC placements. He tells me he is just playing their game trying not to make waves in order to just get by. 

In April Miles was attacked and called a nigger by a staff that had been harassing him. We argued with the facility for a week to get him examined at a hospital. Miles had been complaining of headaches and dizziness since the assault. When he was finally seen, the emergency room doctor contacted me an told me that Miles had a concussion. We have yet to be able to get him relocated and it is still not safe for him to be at home. 

I was lied to by the acting director multiple times over the situation. I was informed by the therapist that they are severely understaffed and that staff witnesses to the assault and the therapist were told to keep their mouths shut or they would lose their jobs. 

CPS was involved. I was told by the RTC that police had been notified , but when I contacted them, they knew nothing of the incident. 

I was finally contacted last week by the detective and told that the city’s attorneys office would be prosecuting the staff that attacked our son. He was fired by the RTC but I want to make sure he is never able to work with children again. I would also love for him to do community service in an area that might teach him some tolerance to the black race. 

Miles is 15 1/2 years old. We are losing the battle to try to get him help. He is stuck in an unsafe facility that is doing nothing but preparing him to survive in a prison one day. I have been in contact with one former resident/patient at the facility that tells me he was raped while in the facility and that we need to get Miles out as soon as possible. 

We now fear Miles is in danger due to the fact that the staff that attacked him still has friends that work there and it is common for staff to bribe kids to harm other kids that they have issues with. 

As a parent, I have never felt so lost. 

 

I Must Have Fallen Down The Rabbit Hole!!!!

By chance there are still any followers to Losing Miles, I think I actually lost MYSELF!!!!! I swear I feel as though I fell down the Rabbit Hole just like Alice in Wonderland!! 

Some time after my last post I went to visit Miles for his birthday. He turned 14 in December. He had been asking for some new Jordan’s so that is what we got him, along with some other small things. I even took the time to buy these things to replace the laces with called Hickeys that can be purchased at Brookstone. In RTC shoes with laces aren’t allowed and these things work great. He wasn’t given a pass to leave the campus due to his violent behavior and all kinds of lies, cheeking medications, etc. You name it, he pretty much tried it. We seemed to have a really good visit although we were confined to a small visiting area with a couch, chair, coffee table and a TV suspended from the ceiling that we were able to watch approved dvd’s. 

Not long after my return home, all hell broke loose with Miles AGAIN. During some of our phone conversations he threatened to kill me once he is released from RTC, or have me killed by another resident that had been in the RTC and returned to our home town. He also threatened to kill his therapist. I immediately contacted her and begged her to not see him for sessions unless she was in an area that could be observed by other staff. I know that these therapists are well-trained but Miles happens to be bigger and taller than that therapist and when he is in a rage, almost appears to have super strength! I also requested that there be no phone contact between us unless it was monitored by his therapist. 

Not only were there death threats but there were all kinds of delusional false accusations of horrendous abuse by us and accusations that we were alcoholics and drug dealers and that he wanted to be placed into foster care in hopes of being adopted by another family. 

After consulting with MY therapist and psychiatrist (that I never needed before this journey with Miles) I field a report with the SLC police department. It was my hope that perhaps he would learn a lesson by going before a judge that he couldn’t threaten people that way and have documentation just in case something does happen to me! NOT!! According to staff that escorted him to his meetings with a probation officer, the judge, and an attorney that they tried to say WE were responsible for paying for, he went in there and charmed the pants off of everyone, in spite of me signing a release for them to look at his elaborate documentation of mental illness issues. He lied and turned everything around and the whole thing was dismissed, supposedly for lack of evidence!!!!

It was around that time that I think my whole perspective changed a bit. I became intensely aware of how vulnerable I might be to threats against my life and began to take charge of that. 

Miles, finally after 3 attempts, escaped the locked facility he was in along with 3 other boys!! He actually made it a mile and a half away from the facility! One of them was able to stay gone for a couple of days before being returned by the police. Miles went back to the RTC willingly when staff found him but upon arrival in the parking lot, he attempted to kick a window out of the van, discharged a fire extinguisher all over staff, swung the extinguisher at a female staff and had to be placed in a hold by one of the large male staff members. 

All of that made it more clear to me that not only did I need to continue to advocate for Miles, but I also had to take precautions to insure my own safety and well-being as well. 

Things got even more awakening when this past March or April we were notified that the RTC was closing. We had until mid June to find a new placement for him. The RTC assisted but they weren’t as concerned about finding a good placement for him as they were mostly concerned with just finding any place that would accept him. I lost count of how many denials he got!! Finally after a 4th appeal to another RTC just 30 mins south of the other RTC, he got accepted. Its pretty bad that he is too sick to be safe at home, and too sick to be accepted at an RTC!!!!!

I feel as though I am slowly climbing up out of the muddy hole I fell so far into, however the closer I get to the top, I slide back a ways with every encounter we have with Miles and his therapy. Currently, he is being extremely charming at his new placement and whining about being bullied (something he has been quite guilty of being the bully in the past). This is his pattern, I almost want to tell his therapist to call me for a family session when things get real and the honeymoon is over with Miles!!!

Thank you very much! I now have anxiety AND PTSD!!!!!